Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Caught Dumpster Diving

Most of us feel like the internet is anonymous. A big, vast world where we can act a little risque and nobody will know. Turns out, the internet can be a small world too.

I was divorced (don't ask) four months ago, and can safely say that the only thing I miss is being able to have sex whenever I wanted to (mostly). I've always had trouble finding someone that will date me consistently, yet not be in a relationship with me. And most of my dates lately haven't been anywhere close to getting physical any time soon... so it's a bit of a dry spell.

A conversation came up about the personals on Craigslist so I went to check out the ads. It's a virtual penis convention! I live in Branson, about two hours away from Joplin, where I usually go to play poker on the weekends. So I searched Joplin ads to see what there was. Thinking this would be safely far away from my hometown and anyone who would know me. I've never been interested in a hook-up buddy, but thought, why not? I'm having trouble going the dating route and keeping men out of my private life (or away from my family), so why not try a hook-up deal? If it was consistent and discreet, it could work.

The idea being that I would find a guy in Joplin who I could go see after playing poker half of the night. So I replied to an ad.... really sexy guy. Of course, his ad only showed him below the neck, nude.

He recognized my name from my email address and asked what I was doing in Joplin. I told him I was going to play poker, then he knew for sure it was the right girl. He replied, "We actually know each other, I'll meet you in the VIP lounge for a drink." YIKES!!!! So much for anonymity!!!

WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. ABORT!

I may have mentioned before that I have a loop rule. I don't date anyone in "the loop". This includes clients, potential clients, friends, friends of friends, timeshare salesmen and poker players (or dealers or casino employees). Why? To protect my professional reputation and eliminate potential drama from my life. Poker is my favorite pastime. I go there to play poker, not get picked up or meet guys. I have to be taken serious as a player and treated equally. I can't muck that up with some dating nonsense.

Not only was he a poker player, he was someone I've played with many times. I was horribly embarrassed to be answering an ad like that, especially when I go out of my way to let poker players know that I'm  not date-able. Now I had to figure out how to back track from this failed idea and still protect my reputation. Not an easy feat. The main thing I had going for me was that he created such an ad and posted a pic of his junk. Decent leverage.

I explained my dry spell and hook up logic to him, stated that I was flattered he would be interested in me, and asked if we could forget this ever happened and just go back to playing poker together. He didn't agree with my logic but respected it.

LESSON LEARNED: Do not go dumpster diving! Someone WILL see you.


No comments:

Post a Comment